Perspective is as much use as a Chocolate Teapot when your legs hurt so much that you’ve developed a complex regarding stairs.
Before starting this blog, I’d taken about a month off so to speak. For some odd reason, October/November contains not only every concert and stand up gig you desperately want to see, but also every single birthday that you can be bothered with. People must get frisky in February.
First practice back. I’ve lost a bit of fitness, not helped by having a cold. Being out of breath isn’t a feeling I enjoy very much, but I have the idea hovering not far overhead that I need to get used to it, like a cheeky Vulture.
First item on the agenda: Increase fitness.
My fitness never used to be that bad, as I always walked to work. The trouble is, I live in Glasgow, and work in Falkirk (20 miles distance)
At first, I got the train, which involved ten mins walk to the station, then 15 mins walk down a steep hill from Falkirk High to work. I also went walkabout on my lunch, meaning I was doing an hour’s walking every day, some of which was up a steep hill. Unfortunately, the experience of travelling on the Edinburgh to Glasgow line is far more painful and terrifying than any hold or lock in modern martial arts, if the train even turns up.
To this end, I bought a car. I now have to content with the horrors of the roadworks on the M80, but at least I don’t have some dick spilling bucky all over my nice jacket. The downside is that I now don’t walk very much, and coupled with the month off, my fitness has taken a blow.
I have a few options.
- Join the gym. It’s a minute away from my house, but it’s expensive.
- Go running. It’s cold out though, and I might run into (literally) someone I know, and I don’t like that many people.
- Sign up to a breakdancing class.
Yup, you heard me. I’m going to learn breakdancing, starting a week on Wednesday (Going to see Mariachi El Bronx with the girlfriend, and the mate who I’m going with won’t be there till then).
Breakdancing isn’t as daft a choice as you might think…
- I’ll look incredibly cool busting a move when I go out (because under club lights, nobody can see that I’m ginger).
- I imagine it’ll do wonders for my balance.
- It should also do amazing things for my core muscles.
- Did I mention how cool I’ll look?
Breakdancing it is.
Item Two on the agenda: Flexibility
I mentioned earlier that my legs hurt. This would be because I took a month off, most of which was spent drunk. However, last Saturday we ending with some partner stretching, where Eddie (who practices on a Saturday at Pauline’s) said something rather interesting.
‘Your legs are heavy, there’s muscle, but they’re not that flexible’.
This is very true. I’ve always had pain/problems with the back of my knees, but nothing that I don’t think some regular stretching won’t sort.
There are some problems that are possibly permanent. I had a bad groin strain on the left side a few years back, and the left leg has always been a bit stiff since (no jokes). Again, regular stretching could help with this, but I’m not so sure.
(At this point, advice from people who actually know what they’re talking about would be appreciated).
Daily stretching at home is the plan of attack.
Pretentiousness
I was reading ‘Cell’ by Stephen King a while back, and there’s an interesting line:
‘The body knows how to fight’
That’s more or less the line. I’m not taking this absolutely literally, that would be silly, but the idea of the body learning by doing is one that’s been talked about quite a lot. It’s one thing to think about how to dodge a punch, and have the theory nailed down. In truth though, you’re going to get punched until your body learns to move.
I feel my problem has been to think about the moves and sequences I’m making too much, making it too cerebral, when really, I should just be getting hit (and I am) till my body discovers what works and what doesn’t. Then I can think about it all I want, preferably while stretched out on the couch, trying to ignore the X Factor, and failing.
In summary:
- Address fitness problem by learning to breakdance, and gain benefits to core muscles, balance, and general coolness.
- Adress flexibility problem by stretching more.
- Address getting hit a lot problem by learning how not to get hit so much.
